Another interesting article, including some ways to be of help and some things to look out for:
If you care about someone with borderline personality disorder, keep these four facts in mind:
- To Help Your Family Member, You Must Help Yourself First
Your physical and emotional health, and the health of your relationship, partly depends upon your willingness to look after your own needs, such as taking time away, setting limits with love, and having a hearty life of your own separate from your borderline family member.
- You Can Improve Your Life Even If Your Family Member Doesn’t Change
Right now, you probably feel trapped, confused, and powerless. But it doesn’t have to be this way—at least to the extent it is right now. It may seem hard to imagine, but the tools and techniques described in this web site and in The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells that will enable you to feel better and more in control of your life regardless of what your loved one does or doesn’t do.
- It Takes Only One Person to Fundamentally Change a Relationship
It takes two to have a relationship. But each person is in charge of 50 percent. Right now, you may think that your family member has power over you and can “make” you do and feel things you don’t want to do and feel. This is false. When you take more control of your own reactions and make decisions true to yourself, the dynamic of your relationship will change.
- Most Borderline Behavior Isn’t Deliberate
Without education about BPD, family members take their family member’s behavior personally—especially if the BP is of the higher-functioning invisible type. This leads to much unnecessary suffering, because BPD behavior isn’t willful. Think of it this way: Why would anyone choose to be in situations that make them angry, unhappy, or otherwise in distress?